at the risk of sounding desperate...
i'm ready for a boyfriend....


that is all.

oh boy! have i been a busy girl. i am a few days away from completing my class which is the last one! i then will be able to get a master's degree diploma!! yeah for me! i cannot believe that it has been 2 years since i started. i've also taken on another job, so really i'm technically working 3 jobs right now. i work at a custom apparel place, which is really boring right now because its the off season, however, they are picking up a little. i also work at a treatment facility for girl's that are having a hard home life and i'm getting the hang of that job pretty well. i work the jobs every other day and so when it starts getting really busy at the custom apparel place, they will probably have to look at hiring someone else, because, let's face it, i'm going to stick with where they pay me better... sorry backstreet... you were fun... and softball season is just around the corner, so there's my 3rd job. and let my tell you that it is a job, although fun, it is stressful and takes up a LOT of time. but the girl's are fun and let's hope that i can coach us to a couple of wins because i will be the head!! wow... that's weird cause now i'll get blamed for everything haha. anyway.

i was talking to that guy that i went on a date with back in september the other day and was telling him how at peace i was with how i am with being the single mom with the father not involved and realized how ready i am to move on with my life. although its a little hard right now with how busy i am... and he's most likely out of the question because he lives all the way in DC now... not that i thought... nevermind... he is a nice friend to talk to. i've let go of so much in the last 2 years and have gained such a perspective on my life and where i want to be. i've always been one to kind of go with the flow and although its worked for me it can also lead me to trouble. so here i am now. not really able to afford moving out on my own quite yet, although i've been looking, i'm not dating anyone, which is sometimes frustrating just cause i would like some of that social interaction once in a while, and maybe a little kissing here and there... what? :) my student loans are coming up very soon which is scary because i really don't have a super high paying job to take care of that, but i'll figure it out. now is a good time to meet my sugar daddy, haha. but really it would be... so that's really where i'm at right now. not a lot of different things are happening because i'm just too busy for it too. and feel extremely exhausted by the time i get home, even though i'm really trying not to be. but especially this week cause i've worked 10 days in a row with 3 more days to go before i get a lowly 1 day off... but that's besides the point. i'm healthy and so is my boy so that's something to be happy about. speaking of happiness... i don't really know where to find that any more. i have my good and bad days, and am really trying not to be the grouch... but i guess its with the territory....

that's enough blabbing. i think i know what i need to do with my life and figuring out how to accomplish it is another thing. once i get that figured out then i'll be good to go!!! well there's my update on my for now.... here's to trying to not be single for too much longer in this life, i'm ready for ♥ so bring it on :) (ps i'm even on match.com... is that desperation? i don't think so hahaha)

so i've had a really good couple of days, although i am pretty dang tired now from hanging out so late, but sometimes its just worth sacrificing sleep to spend time with good people. my good friend from work's husband had his good friend in town for a couple of days and they just NEEDED me to meet him haha, okay not that desperately, but they said i should. so we went out on a double date and, if anything, it was so nice to have an adult conversation! as much as i do love my wee one, you really get to appreciate the company of some adults that know what its like, yet are able to separate from the baby talk :) so glad that i went even though you never know about these things. hey, this was my first blind date! guess that's pretty exciting too. oh, and he was way nice and wouldn't mind getting to know him better ♥ ;)

how is it that my kid went to bed early - well early for him - at 9:30 and i'm still awake? i didn't even have homework or anything i needed to do, but here i am. guess it's the mind chatter again... but i think i'm ready to go to sleep! let's cross our fingers




p.s. see http://family.go.com/gapcastingcall/entries/kanugent10/ and vote!

things have been really good lately. i've been pretty busy its been good for me and my boy has been so much fun. it's amazing the things that he picks up on, not too brag, but he is pretty smart :) not biased at all (hee hee). my spirits have been up lately and it's amazing the difference it can make in the world around you. I really appreciate all those who have been such a support. Even just to listen to me bitch once in a while really helps me to let things go. i've also always been so much better writing my feelings down as an expression cause then it doesn't just sit and wallow in me. hopefully i can keep the positive outlook and know that even though i feel stuck, i'm probably not...






p.s. i'm still patiently waiting for something to come around... or trying to be patient, i guess i don't have much other choice when it comes to ♥

i sure hope it's true...

♥ happens

took him off my friends list... actually feel kind of proud of myself. all i was doing was keeping an eye on what he was doing, and in turn probably letting him keep an eye on the little guy - not okay. i had a lot of things blocked that he couldn't see, but you know. i feel a little bit relieved and one more tie was cut from between us. i didn't realize what hold such a little thing could have. as cheesy as facebook may sound, or even may be, i exhaled a good breath when that was done...




p.s. i've still been so emotional lately on such small things - shouldn't admit it, but i even cried during wall-e and mrs. doubtfire, pathetic! i know!