my situation as a single mom is really nothing to complain about. i live with my parents who are usually more than happy to help out when i need it and they never complain about it. of course my child is one of those that makes it easy to be with him and they truly enjoy watching him and laughing at him every moment they're with him. i always say that he makes my life easier being the good boy that he is. even when he has a melt down, he's bearable. anyway, the reason i bring this up is i really don't get out very much. i feel bad asking my parents for help when they already have let us live with him for 3 years! i know they don't mind but, you know. anyway, last night i went 4-wheeling with a guy friend with out the kid and it is nice to have a little break when most of the time its just me and the little man. i don't really know where i'm getting at with this post... last night was fun but i had a strange feeling through out the night. the guy i went out with is always a lot of fun to hang out with and we had actually dated for a while out of high school. we always have good conversations. last night was no exception. we haven't hung out for quite some time (like last night was the first time in 2010). and i wonder if i've actually lost my desire. he asked me that last night and i didn't think i had. but hanging out with him it was a question that stuck out in my mind. have i lost my desire to even try? or is it really that there are no single guys left in southern utah besides this friend that i have right here? where else would i go? i then had the feeling of being stuck. where are you supposed to go to meet these men? i tried match.com for a few months. and really? 48 year old from new york, new york, you're intrigued? it was really hard to take it seriously. anyway, as i blab on i still don't know where i'm going with this, but i guess i'm a little frustrated and feel like i am just going to be stuck here with the little man for a while. hopefully i'll try to find somewhere to move out to soon and maybe feel like i'm branching out a little bit. i didn't want to get the feeling of being lost because i thought i was past that, but i guess i'm still there once in a while... okay i think i'm done blabbing this nonsense!!! :)